Revisiting Metamorphosis Philosophy

On a recent trip to Thailand, I got another tattoo done. It was a spur of the moment decision. My partner, Enid, and I were walking down a near-deserted street on the way to lunch on a disgustingly hot day in Chiang Mai. She’s a serious foodie and wanted to go to a very authentic eatery where we’d ultimately dine on soup with pig’s blood with a side of seasoned intestines. Across the road from where we were eating lunch was a tattoo parlor and as we walked past it on the way to lunch, I noticed it being opened up by a small Thai woman who drove her motorbike right through the middle of the store. I thought this was pretty cool and I liked the vibe of the shop; so, over lunch, me and Enid chatted about getting a tattoo. I’ve wanted to get something done for a long time which encapsulated my curiosity for the idea of metamorphosis but every time I’ve tried to imagine something symbolically relevant, in the past I’ve thought of getting a butterfly or even the ‘Blue Spirit’ mask which Prince Zuko wore in ATLA as symbols of metamorphosis, it’s either too cliche or abstract for my liking. Ultimately, I thought that the word ‘metamorphosis’ in itself is a little piece of art and while dining over this spicy pig’s blood soup, I decided that I’d get this tattoo done right below my sternum.

(On the table in Chiang Mai)

This is my third tattoo so far. The other two I also got while on overseas trips; one when I was 21 and traveling solo through the USA and one on a trip to South Korea 5 years ago while visiting Enid’s family. My first tattoo was done at a tattoo parlor about an hour outside Nashville. I’d had a big night out the night before on the main strip in Nashville and upon returning to the hostel, I met a group of Israeli guys who were in their late 20s, early 30s. We got on like a house on fire and had a few more drinks together that night. When I entered the hostel common area the following morning, they said they were going on a road trip together out of town and that one of them was going to a tattoo parlor at the end to get a tat done. I joined the group of lads and we went on a road trip to this barbecue spot out of town before they dropped myself and one other guy off at the Victory Tattoo parlor. He got a plant native to Israel done on his shin in black and white and while he was getting it done, I pondered whether I should get one too. In previous weeks, I had been journaling and drawing sketches of tattoos I’d potentially like to get done if I had the chance. I pulled the trigger and told one of the tattoo artists that I’d like to get a tat done - I showed him a photo of a rainbow lorikeet and said I’d like to get one on my shoulder. I chose this to pay homage to my parents and my grandparents as they helped fund my travels to the USA as a 21st Birthday present. The rainbow lorikeet reminds me of summer holidays spent at my Nanna’s place in Scone and they also perch themselves on the electric wires back home.

(Me and some guy whose name I can't remember absolutely hammered on the main strip in Nashville in 2015)

My second tattoo, done in Seoul, was also a last second decision. One of my favourite personalities/rappers is Action Bronson and I saw he got a tattoo done in Seoul years ago by a guy named Wan. I loved Wan’s style - he is a really unique character and the tattoos he posts on his instagram make me laugh. I messaged Wan when I arrived in Seoul and he replied saying that the only time slot available would be tomorrow. Of course I said yes. I went with Enid to Wan’s tattoo parlor in Seoul and we waited quietly in the tattoo parlor for close to an hour before one of the tattoo artists received a phone call and handed the phone to Enid (knowing that she can speak Korean). It was Wan on the phone and Enid started laughing hysterically. Wan was late because he had to take a big shit and that he was on his way on his motorbike. When he finally arrived, he was wearing a bright fluro work helmet that had ‘Fuck you’ written on it and he’d crossed out the ‘Nike’ on his sneakers and replaced it in texta with ‘Nice’. He was also in a daze because while on his way to work, while waiting for a traffic light to turn green, he saw his crush from high school and she waved at him. For my second tat, I wanted to get something which covered my experience as a diabetic, so I got an Allen’s red frog along with the words, ‘Tell me more’, slapped on my right thigh. ‘Tell me more’ was something one of my best mates would sarcastically say all the time and I thought it was the best way for me to process the excuses you can make when you have a chronic illness. There will always be a reason not to do something when you have a chronic illness but I’ve always taken pride in rising above excuses and not letting diabetes hold me back from what I want to accomplish. Tell me more. Just do it.

(Me, Wan and Enid after getting a tattoo done in 2018. Followed this with the best chicken soup I've ever had.)

I’m not sure if it’s just a ‘me thing’ but on the three occasions I’ve been tattooed, I got into an intense introspective journey. To a lesser extent, I can also get like this in a lengthy hot shower; when under a night sky full of stars; when smoking a cigar or hiking through nature. When getting tattooed, however, this introspection is funneled into whatever I’m getting tattooed. For example, when getting the rainbow lorikeet done, I started thinking about what influence my Australian identity played in my life and to what extent I had a genuine connection to the land; when I was getting my red frog done, I was thinking both about how much emotional distress diabetes has inflicted upon me through my high school years and into my early 20s; and then how much this experience of disease continues to shape my personality and perspective on life. Things like that are running through my head as I’m getting repetitively needled. Perhaps my mind goes there because it’s a distraction from the discomfort of tattooing or perhaps getting a tattoo is a commitment and this commitment finally demands a confrontation with the subconscious impulse to get a tattoo in the first place.

While getting this third tattoo, I was thinking a lot about why I am attached to this idea of metamorphosis. Where did it come from? Why did I want to name a sprint group after it? Why am I obsessed with it? I’ve pondered these things in the past, but it wasn’t until I was getting tattooed did I find clarity.

It is a ‘life philosophy’ for me. What I think separates the human experience from that of other living organisms is that we have the capacity to go through multiple evolutions. Between birth and death, there are many landmark opportunities to continue to evolve. There are physical evolutions; taking your first step, beginning to talk, growing pubes, getting your period, growing tall and building muscle before ultimately atrophying, weakening and slowing down. There are social evolutions; growing relationships with family and friends, romance, fatherhood/motherhood. There are skill and intellectual evolutions; learning language, becoming a professional in a trade, being able to write. There are also philosophical evolutions which to me, are the key to unlocking all other forms of evolution. Are we able to find meaning and motivation in our life at (various ages) and then organise life in a manner which helps fulfill that? As someone who has found questions such as life’s purpose extremely disabling, this ‘metamorphosis philosophy’ has positively helped me become a better person. Sorry, this is corny and also sounds like a weirdly religious write up; but if I can put pen to paper about these things, I gain mental clarity.

The metamorphosis mindset entails that everything in life is certain to change and that you need to always be able to leverage change as a positive. If you’re a Taleb guy, I guess you’d consider this to be antifragile. Change may be predictable, e.g. time. Change may also be unpredictable, e.g. you wake up and have diabetes one day, maybe your bitcoin skyrockets. If you have a motivation at that current point in time, you’ll need to leverage whatever change you’re experiencing to get closer towards your motivation. The tough part of this equation is obtaining motivation. What if you don’t know what your motivation is? I think at these junctions you need to incite change yourself by evaluating behaviours from your ‘previous’ iterations (look at the previous 5 years) and being honest about their influence in you leveling up. Blockages in development will never be from a new behaviour - it’ll be something which you probably leveraged as a positive at an earlier point in life. When I had a bit more social anxiety when I was in my late teens and early 20s, alcohol helped me socialise at clubs and parties. I don’t really have social anxiety anymore and don’t find myself drinking all that often - it’ll always be exclusively for celebration now. Drinking was once a positive because it helped me make friends and make some awesome memories, but now it doesn’t really help me move forward. Since I was 11 years old, I’ve played a lot of video games. I always enjoyed the social impact gaming had on me, and especially during COVID, gaming helped me connect with people from around the world to solve problems. In many ways, I think gaming has been a positive influence on me. Over the last two years, particularly when I quit teaching in the pursuit of more sports coaching, gaming became an increasingly negative behaviour. What may have been a positive cognitive and social influence on my life had become a blockade to me leveling up - I refused to change. I needed to incite my own change to continue to evolve - it’s not going to happen if it’s something that once helped you or makes you acutely happy. I think most people tend to have a behavioural block similar to that - something which we continue to value when we need to leave it in the past. Giving it up is very hard. I imagine it as a butterfly which has a small part of its body stuck in the cocoon because it fails to embrace the final moment of change.

I’m not sure how to wrap this up without sounding like a bootleg Joe Dispenza/Goggins excerpt but here are some guiding principles of metamorphosis philosophy.

• Each iteration of yourself is a bigger legend than the last. One day, I hope to become such a legend, full of wisdom with a life full of love and perspective that I cannot become more of a legend and that’s when I die.

• Change needs to be embraced. Use it to level up.

• If the last bit of your wings are stuck in the cocoon, consider what can be eliminated from your life as opposed to what can be added. There will be a behaviour or perspective from the past that you can’t let go of and it’s holding you back.

• Be open to changing your mind.

  • I’ll read this in the future (probably the near future) and cringe really badly as to how lame it is. Oh well.

PS: I understand that this is mostly a training blogspot, so I hope you can connect the dots as to how this can influence your training. Understand your motivation at the time, embrace the uncertainty of the training process and use training to level up physically, psychologically and philosophically. Identify the behaviours holding you back, take them away and ensure you’re always getting better.

If you made it this far, I hope you got something out of it. Share it if you liked it.

(Who are you, and what do you want?)